Sunday 22 February 2015

santa banta jokes pack.(series).

Santa: main shaadi karke khush rahna chaahtaa hoo. 
Banta: arey yaar, mazaak mat karo. hasne ki mood nahi hai. 


Santa apne bete ko: is baar agar exam mein fail huaa, to mujhe pitaji mat bulaana. 
kuch din ke baad, 

Santa: result ka kya hua? 
Santa ka beta: sorry santa 


Santa: main england jaane ke baare mein soch rahaa hoon. 
Banta: bahut paise kharch hoga na. 
Santa: nahi banta, sochne ke liye paise kyu? 


Santa aur banta ko 500 ka ek note milaa. 
Santa: hum ise 50-50 karlenge 
Banta: baaki 400 kaa kya karoge? 


Santa: kahaa gayaa thaa yaar? 
Banta: girlfriend ke saath movie dekhne 
Santa: kitna kharchaa huaa? 
Banta: 500 Rs 
Santa: itnaa huaa kya? 
Banta: kya karu? uske paas itnaa hee thaa yaar 



Santa: kelaa kitna hai? 
Dukaanwala: 1 Rupay 
Santa: 60 paise mein doge kya? 
Dukaanwala: itne me to sirf kele kaa chilkaa hi milegaa 
Santa: to 40 paise leke sirf kelaa dedo 


Santa: padosi se hatouda maang leke aanaa zara 
Banta: maangaa thaa, lekin nahi diye 
Santa: log bahut laalchi bangaye hai. chalo, hamaara hatouda leke aao jaldi 


Santa: police ne tumhe kyu arrest kiya? 
Banta: maine purse se paise nikhaal ke kharchaa kar diyaa thaa 
Santa: baap re!! is liye bhi arrest karte hai kya? 
Banta: purse kisi aur kaa thaa yaar 

Funniest Hindi Jokes 
Santa: mera beta meri baat sunta hi nahi hai 
Banta: kyu? itna gamandi hai kya? 
Santa: nahi. woh behara hai 


Santa: tumne us aadmi ko aisa kyu maara? 
Banta: usne mujhe poocha ke "Khaana khaaye kya"? 
Santa: arey, bhala hi poocha hai na. phir kyu maara? 
Banta: main toilet mein baita tha 


Santa: mera beta raat bhar book ke saamne hee baita rahta hai. 
Banta: lekin phir bhi woh fail kyu huaa? 
Santa: wah book 'facebook' tha, isliye 


Santa: main apni wife ko bahut pyar karta hoo. tum? 
Banta: woh to tumhaari wife hai. main kaise pyar kar sakta hoo? 


santa ka beta: Sirji, jab aap paath padaate ho, to mujhe mere pitaa ki yaad aati hai. 
Sirji: achchi baath hai. kisliye unki yaad aati hai? 
santa ka beta: unko bhi aap hi ke jaise padaana nahi aata hai. 


Santa nurse se bola: aapne mera dil churaa liyaa hai. 
Nurse: hmmm... maine dil churaane se pehle doctor ne aapka kidney churaa liyaa hai 



Santa: shaadi ke baad tumhaari jimmedaari badgayee hai kya? 
Banta: haan yaar. pehle sirf mere liye khaana pakaana tha. ab mere biwi ke liye bhi pakaanaa pad rahaa hai. 
Santa aur Wife Hindi Joke 
Santa: tumhaari wife kyu hamesha gussa rahti hai? 
Banta: maine galti se use bola tha ki "tum gusse main bhi bahut khoob lagti ho" 
Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi 
Santa: pappa agar main exam pass karunga to kya doge? 
Pappa: ek cycle dilaadoonga 
Santa: agar fail hua to? 
Pappa: 10 cycle dilaaunga 
Santa: woh kyu? 
Pappa: padhaai bandh karke cycle shop khol lo 


Santa: navy mein kaam hai. karoge? 
Banta: zaroor. kya kaam hai? 
Santa: jab ship beech samundar mein ruk jaata hai, to tumhe peeche se use dakhelnaa hai 


Police: aapki car ki accident kaise hua? 
Santa: woh to mujhe bhi pata nahi hai sir. tab main so rahaa tha? 


Santa ne apna cellphone leke dentist ke pass gaya tha. kyu? 
kyunki use check karna tha ke uske cell mein bluetooth hai ki nahi. 


Doctor: bantaji, khaane baad neend ki goliya lee na aapne. 
Banta: uff!! khaane ke baad zor se neend aa raha tha to maine goli lena bhool gaya 
Santa Banta Funny Hindi Jokes 
Santa ka ghoda kho gayaa tha aur waha bahut khush tha 
Banta: arey, tumhaara ghoda kho gaya hai aur tum khush ho? jyu? 
Santa: main is liye khush hoo ke jab vo kho gaya to main uske saath nahi tha. hota to main bhi kho jaata na!!! 


Santa ki girlfriend: Ab hame jaldi shaadi kar leni chahiye. 
Santa: achcha... lekin hame shaadi karega koun? 


pappa: mummy kyu chup baithi hai? 
santa: kuch nahi, mummy ne lipstick maangi thi, lekin maine fevistick de diya 


Pappa: sunitha ko dekho, 1st class mein pass kee hai. 
santa: haa, use dekhtaa rahaa to isiliye main fail ho gaya 


Santa: waiter, ek coffee laana. kitna hai? 
Waiter: 50 Rs. 
Santa: saamnewaali dukhaan main to 50 ps hai 
Waiter: woh xerox dukhaan hai sir 
Santa Banta Hindi Jokes 
Banta: Santa, itna udhaas kyu baita hai? 
Santa: yaar betting mein maine 2000 gavaa diyaa :-( 
Banta: kaise? 
Santa: India pe 1000 rupaiye ka bet lagaaya tha aur India ne match haar gaya 
Banta: lekin 2000 kaise? 
Santa: aaj us match ka highlights daale. India pe ummeed rakh ke phir 1000 dala tha. 


Beta: Papa, aap engineer kaise bane? 
Santa: uske liye bahut dimaag ka zaroorat padta hai. 
Beta: haa pata hai, isiliye mujhe samajh mein nahi aa rahaa hai ke aap kaise engineer bane? 


Boss: tumhe MS office pata hai? 
Santa: agar address denge to main doond looonga sir 


Santa: pata hai, bachpan mein mujhe ek bus ne zor se dakka maar diya tha. 
Banta: baap re, tu mar gaya ke bach gaya? 
Santa: mujhe yaad nahi hai. main tab 4 saal ka tha 

Santa: sab log kyu bhaag rahe hai? 
Banta: yeh race hai. jo jeetega use prize milega 
Santa: agar sirf jeetnewaale ko prize milega to itne log kyu bhaaga rahe hai?

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