doctor jokes series

Doctor: aapko isse pehle kabhi heart attack hua thaa kya? 
Patient: haa doctor, bichle baar jab aap bill diye the 

Nurse: udhaas kyu baite ho sir?

Doctor: dopahar jiska operation kiya tha, woh mar gaya. 
Nurse: arey woh to post mortem tha. 
Doctor: to main subah kiska post mortem kiyaa tha 


Patient: Doctor, kya aapko yakeen hai ke mujhe cancer hai. kyunki ek baar kisi doctor ne 

cancer ka ilaaj karte the aur patient TB se mar gaya. 
Doctor: gabraao nahi... agar main ilaaj karungaa to tum sirf cancer se hi maroge. 

Doctor: sharaab peena haanikaarak hai. is vichaar main mujhe aapse baath karni hai. 
Patient: theek hai doctor. sham ko moonlight bar mein milenge.



Doctor: aapke pati ko zyaada rest ki zaroorat hai. yeh sleeping tablets leejiye. 
Wife: unko yeh kab dena hai doctor? 
Doctor: yeh unke liye nahi, aapke liye hai :-) 

Doctor: dekhiye, yeh bimaari khaandaani hai. aapke daadaaji se shuru hui hai. 
Patient: bach gaya!!! tab aap yeh operation mere daadaaji ko hee keejiye. 

Patient: Doctor, meri beti ko aajkal kuch sunaayi nahi deti hai 
Doctor: kya? tumhe 5 din se bukhaar hai aur tum abhi aa rahe ho! 

Wife: doctor ji, mere pati neend mein baat karna shuru kardiye hai. kya karu? 
Doctor: din mein unko baat karne kaa mouka deejiye. 


Doctor: roz hotel mein khaane se hee aapko ulcer hui hai?

Patient: to aaj se mein ghar ko parcel leke jaaunga 


Patient: doctor, mujhe 3 mahine se khaasi hai. 
Doctor: itne din kyu chup the? 
Patient: chup kaun tha doctor. main to khaas rahaa tha. 


Doctor: operation ke baad ab sab teek hai. tum sab kuch sun sakte ho. 
Patient: aapne kuch bola kya? 


Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na. 
Patient: aap rahenge. lekin main rahoonga kya? 

Doctor: tum abhi 2 ganto main mar jaanewaale ho. kya tumhaara koi aakhri khwaaish hai? 
Patient: Haanji, ek achche doctor ko consult karna hai